May all the Barnacles cling to the all the ships and see all the World...

May all the Barnacles cling to the all the ships and see all the World...

You're Welcome

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© The Traveling Barnacle

Defining the Text

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We live a world where we prefer texting over talking.  A world in which our intonations no longer matter, sarcasm becomes an assumption rather than a sure thing, and we're constantly wondering what exactly did that last text mean?  In fact, I spend more time wondering what kind of conversation I'm actually having in my myriad of text messages rather than the simple solution; picking up the phone and actually speaking to the person.
Recent data shows us cell phone users send over 20 billion SMS a day, with an additional 30 billion What's App messages.  That's a whole lot of "hey sup"'s.  One would like to think that we've got communicating by text down to an art, but lets face it, we don't.
Thanks to the Huffington Post for defining the following terms:
ah  I’ve just had the most boring epiphany ever thanks to you.
You’ve reduced an idea to it’s simplest, most moronic form. But I’m not going to even attempt to go into the nuances you've missed, because they’d just go over your head ... again.
cool I couldn’t give less of a shit.
 def The opposite of definite -- probably the most uncertain affirmative. I'll probably forget this conversation in a few minutes.
ehI don’t care much -- just enough to let you know how uninterested I am.
fwiwShort for “for what it’s worth.” I’m using this to preface a statement that is, in fact, utterly worthless.
great (no exclamation point)
I’d rather die. A verbal slap in the face.
I’m bored, lazy, and possibly horny. I took on the weighty task of texting you first, so it’s now your responsibility to carry this conversation. Timing is also a factor here -- the later into the night someone sends this salutation, the deeper the hole of desperation.
I can tell 
you think what you said is interesting, but I don’t. I might also be trying to convince you that I’m paying attention, but I’m really catching up on "The Walking Dead."
just sayin’ I’m using this phrase following an offensive remark to protect myself from any thoughtful critique or debate.
kk The irritatingly upbeat cousin to the nihilistic “k.” This is the Tracy Flick of text messages. 
lolDon’t be deceived -- there's a high probability that I am not, in fact, laughing out loud. But you’ve said something that I find somewhat amusing, or I simply don’t know what else to say.
mehI hate it/you/everything. A stronger form of “eh,” graduating from casual indifference to active dislike. 
I’m oozing nonchalance, usually in response to thank you. The more effusive and sincere the gratitude, the harsher a “no problem” abbreviation feels. 
ohI just had an epiphany -- you're an asshole. I’m offended, but I won't actually come out and say that. 
perf  I’m too busy and important to include that last syllable. You’re likely here to do my bidding, or I just want to make you feel that way.
QQ (crying)
It's time to quit, you crybaby. 
rly sry
I’m not that sorry -- I didn’t even care enough to properly spell out this apology.
I am offering nothing yet expecting everything from you. I am a brick wall and have a hard time being vulnerable.  
This is my perfunctory expression of gratitude. You did something that (a) means nothing to me, or (b) was your responsibility, so I truly don’t owe you anything.
I don’t even know where to begin with how wrong you are.
I'm the picture of chill yet still want to communicate that I feel strongly about something. 
who dis I’m agitated, yet intrigued that I don’t know who you are. Or I know exactly who you are but want to make you feel worthless and forgotten.
xoI haven’t learned how to show affection since high school so I’m going to go with this old standby rather than develop my communication skills as an adult.
yep You just asked me an obvious question, you idiot, and I hate you.
zzz I’m not really sleepy or sleeping (unless I have a rare condition in which I can lucidly dream text), just bored out of my mind.
Finally, in order to capture the rich language of SMS, we have to address the texts that speak volumes with mere punctuation.
Why haven’t you responded to me yet? Helloooo? Or I have no words for the weird thing you just said. Following actual words, this means, "I don't want you to feel to comfortable, so I'm ratcheting up the suspense in this conversation."
I disapprove of whatever you just said, but I’m also going to leave you in the dark as to why.
What the what? I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about.
© The Traveling Barnacle


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Originally written by Colleen George and Published by Thought Cataglog

Read This If You’re Feeling Stuck And Don’t Know What To Do About It

I don’t know what it is that you are going through right now, or what it is that has you feeling stuck in the quick sand. Trapped in a cage. Uncertain of how to make a change. You’re not ready to move forward, but you can’t find a way to go back in time. Maybe the past is going through your head on rerun…the pictures running in front of your eyes like an unending film. That little part of you wants to run away, escape. And the rest of you just wants to sleep…maybe for a few hours, or maybe for a few months. Or maybe you just don’t want to do anything at all. So many maybes and not enough certainties. Where is the pause button when you need it? Where is the option to just halt and breathe? You crave a stopping point; a time to gain your spirit back and have some space to just breathe. But realistically, you know this doesn’t work. It’s not an option. So what do you do? You still must move forward. You have to.

As human beings, we have a tendency to let the negative overcome the positive. When something goes wrong, we focus all of our energy on the bad. Our mind gets absorbed by the negative. We get trapped. We feel stuck. When we are hurt or feel broken, suddenly we forget that only part of our life is broken. Not the whole. A rough patch in life doesn’t mean a rough life. A bad day doesn’t mean a bad year. Whenever life gets bad, it always gets better.
Whenever life feels like too much, you have to remember that it will get better. You can never be stuck because earth keeps turning. Time keeps ticking. Energy keeps living. The universe glimmers on. The world never fails to continue on forward into the future. So don’t try to fight this and stop.
Don’t keep yourself in quicksand. You can make changes and you can rekindle your spark. But to do this, you must keep moving forward.
If you just stay where you are, and try nothing new, the quicksand will just become stronger. But if you can find a tiny reason to grab onto something new, you will find that a change is exactly what you need to restart your heartbeat. It doesn’t need to be a big change. It doesn’t need to be a big step. It just needs to be something. Your only option is to keep moving forward because the thing is, if you do just stay here stuck, nothing is going to change…for better or for worse.
You have no idea what wonder and beauty lies ahead, so do not let what has happened in the past, what has brought you down, dim your lights. Even if it is life. Just LIFE overall. That big overwhelming thing we all know. If you want something beautiful back, just try one little baby step. Be open to what may come next in life, for life is a journey – it has mountains, it has hills, it has storms, it has rain, but it has shooting stars. It has fresh winter snows, it has love and laughter, wonder and delight. Do not dwell on the bad. Put one step forward – even if it is one baby step. You’re doing great, and you’re going to go far.
Go out there and walk right through the flames. Stumble into the mysterious depths. Go for what is terrifying – pursue what is magnificent! Maybe you’re feeling stuck in the past because you don’t know what you want. Or maybe you don’t know what you are capable of.
Or, maybe you really just have no idea of what you want in life. That in itself is enough to make you want to just go in a hole hibernate. No matter what you’re feeling, it can be really hard to feel motivation to keep pushing forward – especially when you don’t know what you’re pushing for. But this is precisely the time that even a baby step can change your entire life. It can spark your energy and bring you back to life. It may take a while, but at least you will be moving forward. What do you honestly have to lose by at least attempting something? At least taking that risk? Even if you take a step forward and it feels like two steps back, so what? You start again. You refresh. You rethink. And you take this next step in a different direction. You have infinite possibilities ahead of you, so the odds are, you will find something that will be magnificent for you.
Don’t focus on what you left behind, what you lost, or what you gave up. Because these all happened specifically to launch you into something better. Stick it out, and I promise that you will end up somewhere wonderful. Pay attention to what you know you can have, rather than what you did have. We must always, without fail, move forward. Take that little step. What may seem like a terrifying little step could actually be the very beginning of a magical transformation. Just always remember, you have no idea what may be just out of sight. So whatever it is, start writing your new story, second by second, day by day. Maybe one chapter is over, but now it’s time for the rest of the story to play out. And really – who’s to say that a miracle is not waiting for you just around the corner?

© The Traveling Barnacle

Film Review: Would You Rather?

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We all know the game "Would you rather?"  It's not only a great way to get to know someone but definitely a big hit at parties when the consequence is downing the rest of your drink.  The premise of the game is simple.  One person asks "Would you rather _____________ or _____________?" and the person playing must choose.  It combines the best of both the truth and the dare.  In fact it's become so popular that there is a website that does the asking for you.

But at the end of the day it's just a game right?  Your decisions don't have life altering consequences or really harm anyone, do they?  That's exactly what the 2012 film by the same title asks.  "Would You Rather?" takes a game and turns it into our worst nightmare.

A young woman finds herself in a tough situation when both her parents die and she is now the sole caretaker for her brother, who is in desperate need of an organ transplant.  So when her Doctor introduces her to a wealthy benefactor who offers her the chance at not only financial security but the very organ her brother needs, we're left wondering what's the catch?  She must play a game, cue the "dun dun dunnnnn" music.  Thus "Would You Rather?" begins.

Reminiscent of Richard Connell's The Most Dangerous Game, we're taken to the dining room of the wealthy benefactor. Where the question is dealt around like candy, would you rather electrocute the person sitting across from you or take the shock yourself.  The strangers quickly define their relationships to one another, and decision making happens in it's rawest form.

The rest of the film takes place around the dining room table, literally the center of 'home', of comfort, of family, transformed into a terrifying setting of every one's worst nightmare.  Perhaps this is what makes the film so good, it's not the game that we all love to hate, yet still continue to play at every party, through every long road trip, but it's the setting.  The dining room table.  It's not only the center of the household's most important meals, but also it's most important conversations.  Some of the best memories and worst are spent around the table.  Holidays, sharing meals with loved ones, and those tough conversations over cups of tea and a slice of cake.  We literally tend to revolve around the table, growing up, nourishing our lives, joining hands and saying a prayer for those we care about.

Yet still one of the best, yet predictable, parts of the film is the ending.  One that leave you questioning what the love for those around our dining room table makes us capable of, one that leaves you wondering weather you'd rather choose the ultimate sacrifice for the ones you love, or....

© The Traveling Barnacle

Translating San Diego

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Originally written by Matt Louv and published on
Do you speak San Diegan? What, you were unaware that this city has its own language? It does! Here’s a quick primer to common phrases you’ll hear in San Diego, and what they actually mean.

“Why would anyone eat at Taco Bell when there's so much real Mexican food here?”

Translation: I’m habitually condescending. Also, I eat at Chipotle at least once a week.

“Have you been to Omnia yet?”

Translation: I have been to Omnia several times, because it is where the hot people go. As you can see, I am a hot person. Who goes to Omnia. Have you been? You probably haven’t.

“It's so expensive here!”

Translation: I've never been to or heard about San Francisco.

“People are so fake here.”

Translation: I hate it that so many people are better looking than me.

“I've never been to Comic-Con but I so want to go.”

Translation: I don't know what I'm talking about and will be overwhelmed and bored within an hour, because I don't cry tears of joy and start trembling when I see cast members of Firefly in person.

“I'm from a whale's vagina.”

Translation: I haven’t seen any new movies in 11 years. Also, I still yell “I’m Rick James, bitch” at bars.

“I hate PB, it's full of bros.”

Translation: I secretly long to know things about football. Don’t tell anyone.

“I hate North Park. It's full of hipsters.”

Translation: I used to wear a puka shell necklace in middle school. Don’t tell anyone.

“I won't even go to SeaWorld anymore after seeing Blackfish.”

Translation: I haven't even thought about going to SeaWorld since I was 10. But still, I’m taking a STAND, dammit.

“I actually really like it when it rains.”

Translation: I think this is a bold, novel opinion even though almost everyone shares it.

“Sometimes I wish we had real seasons.”

Translation: I moved here from the Midwest and will be back there within two years.

“This brunch place is legit.”

Translation: This brunch place uses that one hypermodern font on its hand-pressed paper menus. Everything is wood. The table is wood. The plates are wood. The food is... maybe wood? The waiter doesn't have tattoos so much as he is a tattoo.

“I'm not afraid of sharks.”

Translation: I pretend not to be afraid of sharks.

“I never go up to LA.”

Translation: I'm desperately afraid of making unprotected left turns.

“Let's go party in TJ.”

Translation: I'm not actually your friend.

© The Traveling Barnacle

Running Into Trouble

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Daylight savings really only means one thing for us runners, extra sunlight in the morning and dwindling daylight at night.  For the past few weeks I've had to wait until the sun comes up to start my early run, but after the clocks fell back, now I'm up with the sun.  Unfortunately that means if I miss out on my morning run, there isn't a lot of daylight in the evenings.  Suddenly my run isn't just exercise anymore, I'm on alert.
Since October 1st there have been 14 crimes along the Embarcadero and Waterfront of downtown San Diego, not only one of the most jogged areas, but the busiest for tourists and locals alike.  With an average crime rate of one assault or robbery every 2 days, us runners are definitely doing a little more than just "jogging". 
That being said, there are some ways to make your run safer with the dwindling daylight;
  • Remove your headphones.  I know Beyonce is super inspiring when it comes to mile #3 but trust me on this one, being able to hear someone come up behind you is better than "Who run the world!?"
  • Vary your route.  Whenever I switch up my route I'm more alert, as I'm totally going to trip over this new terrain.
  • It may sound silly but I make sure and tell someone I'm going running.  And I don't mean social media.  It's actually better not to post your route and have it fall into the wrong hands.  Text your friend, your mom, who ever and let them know "I'm going for a run".  
  • Better yet, run with a friend.  You can browse through and find a ton of local running groups.  I find I can usually catch up with the Navy Guys and trail them in the mornings.
  • And finally trust your instincts.  If a street looks too dark, turn back now!  You don't wanna be that idiot in your favorite horror movie who clearly goes into the dark forest against all logic and common sense.  And if you feel like someone is following you, move somewhere more public or just call the police. 

It's always better to be safe than sorry.

© The Traveling Barnacle